Goal-Setting: What it Is, What it Isn't, and How to Start Doing it Right Now

Imagine you're broken down on the side of the road. You're miles from the nearest town, you don't have any cell service, and you haven't seen another soul for the past hour and a half.

You are not in a good situation.

You decide to wait it out and hope someone comes along to help soon. After what feels like an eternity, you finally see a car coming way off in the distance and you breathe a sigh of relief.

The car slows down as it approaches and a well-to-do driver leans over to ask you where you're headed.

"I dunno," you shrug, pointing first in one direction and then the other. The driver seems taken aback, but then asks you what's wrong with your car. Again, you shrug, scratching your head and staring at the driver, who becomes even more befuddled.

"Well, what do you know?" the person in the car says.

"I know that if our communities don't learn to coexist with one another despite our differences, our primal instincts will overtake our more advanced human need for relationships, and we will slowly destroy each other until there is nothing left of our species but small warring bands of hunter-gatherers."

The driver stares at you, mouth agape, as you smile back.

"Okay, well I'm heading for the next town up the road if you want to hop in. It has an auto shop, a towing service, and cell signal. It'll take about an hour to get there, so if we leave now, you should be able to get back to your car before dark."

You think it over and reluctantly get inside the vehicle, wondering how anything the driver told you related to the sticker that said "Baby on Board," on the car's rear bumper.

Setting Goals for Everyday Life

If you've ever been in a situation like the one I described above, you know how ridiculous it would sound if you actually spouted out what the broken-down driver said to the passing motorist trying to help.

And yet, it seems like more often than ever before in history everyone has an opinion on virtually every matter under the sun. But few could state any real plan for bringing about the change they want to see happen around them.

So many people are living their lives like that broken-down motorist. They feel strongly about something internally, but it doesn't translate to external action.

So in this article, I wanted to break down ways to set realistic, measurable goals you can use to start making the kind of progress you want to see in your life.

Right now, you may be feeling like you're wandering through an endless fog - your arms stretched out in front of you - searching for something concrete to grab onto. But it doesn't have to be that way anymore.

With a few small tweaks, you can start making progress towards the life you want.

Yes, it will take time. Yes, it will be challenging. No, there are no secret formulas or miracle cures.

At the beginning it will be just you, the problem you see around you, and some amoebic, shapeless solution you think might change your life. But given concentrated daily effort over time, you will start to create a community that has the potential to make real, lasting change happen.

But it all begins with setting a goal and managing your expectations.

So let's start by breaking down what goal-setting actually is.

What Goal-Setting Is: A Roadmap for Transformation

Let's go back to our broken-down motorist scenario.

When the driver pulled up, s/he gave a few crucial bits of helpful information.

1. A destination ("I'm heading for the next town up the road")

2. A timeline ("It'll take about an hour to get there")

3. A call-to-action ("if we leave now...")

4. A positive resolution ("...get back to your car before dark.")

Let's look at each of these points individually.

1. A Destination

The first question the driver asked was the obvious one: Where are you headed?

Simple, straightforward. But sometimes impossible to answer coherently if you don't sit down to think about what it is you actually want.

In a previous article, I outlined the first step in getting unstuck and realizing your full potential. But in order to take that first step, you need to have some reason why you should get moving to begin with.

You need a clear picture of what success looks like to you. So, what's the image that pops into your brain when you hear the word "success"?

Is it a big house and a fancy car? Is it a corner office overlooking a mountain range or a cityscape? Is it closing on a huge deal or launching a new business?

At first glance, some of those examples may seem shallow. And if your goals remain all about you, then they are. But as you get started on your journey toward your destination, you'll likely come to realize that the satisfaction you get after manifesting your personal successes pales in comparison to the level of joy you experience when you help other people achieve theirs.

2. A Timeline

The second thing goals require is a timeline. One that's not so manageable you can be disengaged from it and still achieve it without even trying. But also one that's not so farfetched that it's completely unattainable given where you're at currently.

A timeline should make you sweat a little. It should make you question whether or not achieving your goal is even possible. Because then once you achieve it, you'll be able to breathe easy and start preparing for the next challenge down the road.

3. A Call-to-Action

Goals you never take action on are called ideas.

Ideas are where goals come from, certainly. But if you never set out to do anything about your ideas, you will remain like that broken-down motorist: You'll have plenty of opinions that won't solve any of your (or anyone else's) problems.

If you take action toward your goals and ultimately end up failing at them, you still made more progress than you would have if you'd stayed on the couch and kept dreaming.

And we should also note that you don't always have to take some grand leap toward your goals in order to make them into a reality. Thinking you do might be what's holding you back from starting in the first place.

So rather than sitting around and arguing with yourself about how to do the thing you're trying to do, just start doing it. Progress will come slowly at first, and you may have to revisit the drawing board multiple times. But if you keep at it, your momentum will begin to build and you'll start to see changes taking place.

Those little wins can even feel more rewarding to you than eventually achieving your goal does in the end.

4. A Positive Resolution

As I've set goals for myself over the first decade of my adult life, I've come to realize more and more that life often follows cyclical patterns. I might set out on some journey only to find that at some point I wind up back where I started.

But in my travels, I've also seen my life follow more of a linear trajectory, such that I know I've made progress toward, say, a college degree or financial target.

So I've come to think of the progress I make toward my own goals as an upward spiral. I'm still moving forward one step at a time, mile after mile. But I'm also returning to some of the same places, thoughts, ideas, and emotions again and again.

While having some sort of resolution along the journey toward your own goals is important, there is no point where you can say you've "arrived".

Even in the scenario above, the positive resolution is that the motorist returns to his vehicle, having been to town and gotten the help he needed. But of course that's not the end of the story. He would still have to get his car towed, fix whatever issue it was experiencing, and then hit the road again for wherever he was headed.

So if you hit your sales targets for the quarter, lose the amount of weight you wanted to lose, or finish the race you trained for over the course of several months, you should celebrate. Throw a party, gather up your friends and family, announce the victory on your social feeds.

But know that the end of one journey is really just the beginning of another. And it's up to you to set new and bigger goals for yourself as you grow and develop into the person you want to become.

What Goal-Setting Isn't: A Bumper Sticker Stating Your Opinion

We are living in a day and age when broadcasting one's opinion to the masses is easier than ever before. All you need to make yourself heard is a phone, an Internet connection, and a social media profile.

And make no mistake, people are speaking their minds, whether anyone asked to hear them or not. But if all you do is state your opinion without ever taking action to solve the issues you see around you, what are you really accomplishing?

You can throw all kinds of hatred toward an opposing religious viewpoint, political agenda, or social injustice, and it's within your First Amendment rights to do so. But if you never do the hard work of stepping up and making the changes you want to see happen, you're nothing but a town crier nobody else wants to listen to.

So if you're fed up with not having the opportunities you want to have in your life, career, business, relationships, or finances, then start researching ways to make those opportunities find you.

What does that look like?

It could mean reaching out to a friend or colleague who is already doing what you want to do professionally and asking them to tell you how they got started. Or searching for online communities or in-person groups that meet in your area and hanging out with the people you want to emulate.

I have yet to find any way to get what I want that didn't require me to make the first move, step out of my comfort zone, and humble myself enough to ask for help.

And in the instances throughout my life when I have done just that, I can't think of a single time when I was turned away with nothing to show for my efforts. Did things happen exactly as I'd hoped they would? No, definitely not. And rarely have I gotten all that I wanted after just one attempt.

But I've found that people are more likely to turn you away because they don't think they have the capacity to help than they are to reject you outright for anything you have or haven't done.

So if you seek opportunities with the belief that humans need other humans to do anything worth doing, then there's a good chance that over time you'll find the right people to surround yourself with, which will in turn lead you to the meaningful work you're seeking to bring about in the world.

How to Start Setting Goals Right Now

Here's what you've been waiting for. The big ticket. The main event. I can promise you that all your hopes and dreams are going to be fulfilled in this one section of text explaining the real secrets for setting goals that you actually accomplish.

Except that's not true. Because as I mentioned at the beginning of this article, there is no secret goal-setting sauce you can just dip your fries into and magically lose that pesky belly fat you gained over the past year.

Here's the honest truth: Goals take work. Hard work.

And they take time. Lots of time. More time than you want them to take when you're just starting out.

When you're just getting started, there might be a lot of fanfare. There could be a big crowd cheering you on with lots of music and confetti. Think about the beginning of a marathon with all the runners bunched up together and an announcer shouting into a microphone to get everyone pepped up for the race.

But once the race begins, the runners all spread out. Some sprint ahead, others clump in the middle, and still others lag toward the rear. Soon, the crowds are nowhere to be seen. And then it's just 26.2 miles of you putting one foot in front of the other. Over and over and over again.

So what goes through your head when you leave all that fanfare behind? What keeps you moving forward when all you want to do is quit?

Achieving your goals isn't easy. That should be a given by now. But when you're down in the thick of things, grinding through the work itself, remember what the driver said in the scenario above.

Step One: Picture an Ending

What does success look like to you?

Step Two: Define Your Timeline

How long will it take you to reach it?

Step Three: Commit to Daily Action

What will you commit to doing every day to make your goal a reality?

You have everything you need to do what matters to you. You have what it takes to accomplish your goals. You are not alone in the battle you're fighting.

And when you reach the finish line - covered in blood, sweat, and tears - you'll look around you at the people who made it possible and think back to all the times you wanted to quit but didn't, all the times you thought you couldn't but did, and all the doubters you ignored who said you shouldn't.

That's when the overwhelming wave of success will wash over you. And it will feel so much better than any external validation ever could.

Ready to work with me? Schedule an appointment today.