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How to Combat Feeling Lonely on the Road: Tips for Surviving the Loneliness Crisis in America

Before we dive into this article, I wanted to list out some resources you might find helpful if you are contemplating self-harm in any way.


The most important thing you can do is to get help NOW if you need it.


Man taking notes in chair listens to woman talking in an office setting. Blue background. Calm atmosphere.

Take the time, invest in the resources, do whatever you have to do to get yourself right before you make any other moves in your life. Nothing you read in this article is going to help you as much as seeking out wise counsel in your own life.


That being said, what I can do here is offer you encouragement and tips that have helped me through some pretty rough times living on the road for the better part of the past decade.


The nomadic lifestyle can be the most exhilarating, eye-opening, adventure-filled thrill ride you could ever embark on.


It can also be a soul-sucking nose dive into depression and despair if you don't establish strategies for taking care of yourself while on the road.


So in this article, I want to offer some helpful tips - as well as a couple stories from my own experiences - that can help prepare you before you fully embrace the road warrior lifestyle.


Where I've been


I sat staring blankly out the windshield at the empty parking lot in front of me. It was just me, my car, and a thousand questions racing through my brain.


What should I do? Where do I go from here? How am I supposed to start over...again?

A blue car drives on a pastel road towards a sunset over the ocean. The sky is purple with white clouds, creating a serene vibe.

And the most pressing question: After everything I'd done and all the work I'd put in, how had I ended up right back where I started?


I'd recently finished a graduate program that I never should have enrolled in to begin with. All I had to show for my pursuit of an education was a pile of loans I didn't know how I was going to pay off and an overwhelming feeling of total uselessness to the world around me.


Nobody wanted what I had to offer. That's what I told myself anyway.


And so I sat there in my car, alone. Looking ahead, there was nothing in front of me but the parking lot with a small brick building beyond it. I stared at that building, calculating how much speed I would have to get up to in order to do some real damage.


I guess I thought it was fitting: I'd hit a brick wall in every other area of my life. I might as well try hitting one for real, too.

Two traffic cones and a yellow-black barrier block a manhole. A ladder leads down. City skyline and clouds in the background.

So I unbuckled my seat belt and started my car. I revved the engine and took my foot off the brake, making a beeline straight for that building.


Now, I wasn't driving a McLaren or anything. I wasn't going zero to 60 in 2.4 seconds. But the parking lot was big enough that I knew I could get some momentum up before making an impact.


So I sped toward that building, the gas pedal pressed to the floor, shouting out in frustration. I was angry at myself, at my own stupid decisions, and at the way the chips had fallen around me.


I pressed the gas pedal down to the floor of my '05 Honda Pilot, my eyes glued to the wall in front of me.


Then at the last second, I yanked the steering wheel hard to the right, swerving away from the building and coming to a stop.


I looked around. The parking lot was still empty.


I sat there in the driver's seat, my heart pounding as a rush of adrenaline came over me. I leaned over the steering wheel. Nothing had changed. None of my problems had been solved. And I was no closer to getting out of the mess I'd gotten myself into than I had been a few seconds earlier.


I was still breathing, though. And it wasn't into the inflated air bag of my smashed-up car, either.


But the same thought kept coming back to me: How can someone do so much and yet have nothing to show for it?

Silhouette enters door under large question mark with crisis icons. Papers float in dark setting. Predominantly red, blue, and beige.

I don't know how long I sat there. But I do know when I looked up there was still no one around me. No one was there knocking on my car window asking if I needed anything. And there was certainly no one swooping in to save me from my lot in life.


So I circled around the parking lot and pointed my headlights toward that building again to go for another round.


Get help NOW


If you are anywhere close to where I was back in the summer of 2019 and are contemplating self-harm in any way, I'm urging you to stop reading this article and get help NOW. I've listed those same resources again below to help you get started.


Pregnant woman looks distressed, sitting with her hand on her head. A therapist, holding a clipboard, listens attentively in a calm setting.

You getting well is not a trivial subject. It's not something to sweep under the rug and "get to" tomorrow when you don't have as much going on. The people around you need you, and no one would be better off if you weren't around.


Loneliness statistics


Here's a truth you won't see any news outlets spewing out at you anytime soon: Loneliness is running rampant in America.


Almost a third (30%) of American adults reported feeling lonely at least once a week according to a poll taken in early 2024. And 30% of adults aged 18-34 reported experiencing feelings of loneliness every day.


Back in May of 2023, the US Surgeon General called loneliness a public health epidemic.


The risk of suicide increases by nearly five-fold in people who have reported feeling lonely or who are socially isolated. And loneliness and social isolation are associated with increased risks of heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.


But because loneliness is a silent killer, it's not likely to steal headlines.

Man pondering data on a flip chart with graphs and pie chart, wearing a red sweater and beige pants, set on a plain background.

It's a lot easier for news outlets to throw out all the details of the latest armed robberies or political stories than for them to show us how many young adults in our society are slowly dying from a lack of connection.


Of course, technology has played a significant role in both mitigating and exacerbating those statistics.


Our digital world makes it so simple to keep in touch with people living halfway around the world.


But despite our interconnectedness, in our constantly-moving modern world, feeling lonely on the road is likely more common than most American adults are willing to admit.


And when technology replaces in-person relationships altogether, loneliness and disconnection spike.


It's not like AI and the Internet are going away any time soon, though.


So how are we supposed to develop meaningful, lasting relationships with other real-life human beings in a world full of people hiding behind their devices?


My own story


In the previous decade or so of my life, I've moved somewhere between 20-30 times. Honestly, I've lost count at this point. But I know I only average about six months in a new place before it comes time to uproot my life and move again.


The nomadic lifestyle I've chosen has allowed me to experience some pretty incredible things and meet some amazing people from all walks of life.


I've hunted emu and slept under the stars in the Australian bush while working on cattle and sheep stations during a semester abroad in college.

A car with luggage, a TV, and plants on the roof drives by a lake and mountains under a blue sky with clouds.

I've watched in awe as double rainbows arched over Loch Ness while hiking alone for a week in Scotland following my grad degree.


And I've fished for fresh sockeye salmon in Alaska's pristine rivers and then cooked it for dinner the same day.


I wouldn't trade the experiences I've been able to have for a stable job with health insurance no matter how much my plan covered.


But for all the benefits and highlight-reel moments, there have been at least as many that have made me question why I've chosen to pursue this lifestyle.


Because, as a result of the choices I made in my late teens and early twenties, while my peers from high school and college were settling into those stable jobs I mentioned earlier, I was moving back into my parents' house just hoping I could find some part-time gig that could help me pay off my student loans.


And rather than partying with friends through the first decade of my adult life, I spent countless nights alone in my room working behind my computer screen on something - anything - that might help someone through whatever hardship they're facing. To this day, I have no idea if any of it has helped a single person.


I've also driven deep into the Colorado Rockies and sat alone in my car with a loaded pistol in the passenger seat wondering if I should just do the world a favor and eat a bullet.

Illustration of serene lake with two tall trees in foreground, purple mountains, blue sky, pine trees. Peaceful and natural setting.

Feeling lonely on the road?Decide to do the work


Through the first 10-12 years of my adult life, I have experienced several instances when I contemplated self-harm, up to and including suicide.


The first thing you should know if you have experienced similar thoughts is that the issues you're facing or have faced are not trivial. They don't make you unworthy of getting help because other people have "real problems".


Everyone has real problems. And everyone includes you.


What matters is what you are willing to do about them. So, are you willing to swallow your pride and...


  • ...seek professional counseling?

  • ...call a friend or family member to ask for help?

  • ...get uncomfortable - and probably make other people around you feel uncomfortable - so that you can get right?


Because honestly, you really only have two options here:

Woman in business attire contemplating a red and blue directional signpost against a cloudy sky backdrop, evoking decision-making.

  1. Continue trying to do everything by yourself, hoping other people will see how hard you're grinding and come swooping in to help you.


    Or...


  2. Get vulnerable and tell people about your struggles, what you're trying to accomplish, and what you can actually do to help them overcome their own pitfalls.


Continue doing Option #1 and you might end up negatively altering your own life and the lives of the people who care about you forever.


But if you give Option #2 a try instead, eventually word will spread, people will start reaching out to you, and you'll realize that that loneliness you've been battling for the past X number of years isn't just a personal demon. It's a universal human condition.


And that's when you'll realize the work you've done behind closed doors for so many years is actually the most important thing you've ever done in your life. Which means people need to see it.

Two people shown: one with a pink shirt, visibly stressed at a laptop, and another in white, offering comfort with a hand on the shoulder.

Then your task becomes simple: Go show them.


Why? Because everyone deserves to create their own unique adventure out of this life.


And everyone includes you, too.


Helpful Resources (one more time)


Cartoon hand grabbing a telephone with a face on a white background, conveying a playful mood.

 
 
 

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