When you don't know what to do next, try this one simple thing

The first thing you should know before deciding what your next move should be is also the most obvious: You know you better than anyone else in the world. Ultimately, only you can determine what you should do.

Well that’s great, you say. That’s just about the most worthless piece of advice anyone could give me. Thanks for nothing.

Yeah, I know. Growing up and making your own decisions kinda sucks sometimes.

But the key takeaway to get from this article is that you are your own person. What you do with your life is up to YOU and no one else.

So stop waiting on someone else’s permission to do whatever you know you need to do. And stop waiting on someone to come swooping in to save you.

Now that those caveats are out of the way, let’s discuss two simple tricks you can use to figure out what your next move actually should be.

Take a hike

One of the most beneficial practices you can pick up when you don't know what to do next is to just start walking.

The simple act of walking has been shown to improve sleep, reduce stress, ease symptoms of anxiety and depression, and increase energy.

It’s also one of the easiest and healthiest ways to start (or restart) an exercise routine.

So find a way to carve out 10-15 minutes of your day and get outside. Leave your phone and headphones on the counter and grab a pen and a small notebook. Then step out your front door and move your feet.

That’s literally and figuratively the first step in making your next right move.

Channel your inner best friend

Alright, let’s get weird. You need to start talking to yourself.

Yep, that’s right. That inner dialogue you have constantly chattering at you from inside your own head, it’s time to let it get its energy out.

Self-talk – the not-so-sciencey science term for talking to yourself – has been shown to improve cognitive performance, boost self-confidence, and manage negative emotions. It can also help you learn new things, sustain your concentration, and help you focus.

So when you’re preparing for a presentation at work, trying to remember something important, or teaching yourself quantum computing, give your brain a boost by talking things out.

Walk and talk

Okay, here comes the tricky part. Now you’re going to have to do both things at once.

Walk for the first 2-3 minutes in complete silence. Just you and your thoughts.

Then, once your feet have been moving for a few minutes, feel free to crack open your brain valve and release the floodgates. Blurt out everything you’re thinking as fast as the thoughts come to you.

This isn’t a stream of consciousness. It’s a raging river.

Talk through the different options you see laid out in front of you. What have you been lying awake thinking about at night?

• Going back to school?

• Applying for a job in a completely new field?

• Starting a business?

• Asking someone out?

• Going into the military, becoming a first responder, or pursuing some other dangerous line of work?

• Traveling outside the country for an extended period?

• Approaching a colleague about a work issue?

What is it?

There’s something on your mind that’s bothering you. I know because you wouldn’t still be reading this article if there wasn’t.

So air it all out.

You might not be very articulate at first. That’s fine. Just keep transforming the thoughts in your head into words you say out loud for as long as you need to.

Mouth closed, ears open

If you’re like me, eventually you’ll talk yourself out and go quiet again as all the words you just said begin to replay in your head.

And that’s when you need to start paying close attention to what’s going on around you.

• What birds do you hear?

• Is the wind blowing hard, is there a light breeze, or is everything still?

• Is there a dog barking in the distance, or a horn honking?

• Is your neighbor mowing the lawn?

Take it all in. You may want to stop walking for a moment at this point. If so, do it.

Stand there and be quiet.

The thoughts you’re having are pretty quiet now, too, aren’t they? They’re like a slow trickle that follows after the massive rush of water you released earlier.

You especially need to listen now because those thoughts are the really important ones. They’re the ones you need to lean in close to hear. And that means they are way more important than the rush you experienced earlier.

So what are those thoughts telling you to do?

• Start that business…and trust in yourself to figure out the details as you go.

• Propose to your girlfriend…and believe you’ll be able to work out your differences.

• Apply for that job or promotion…and know you could bring a fresh perspective to the company or organization that could take it to the next level.

Now take out your notebook and pen and jot down those thoughts.

How I know it works

Back in 2019 when I was contemplating self-harm, after my episode in the parking lot was over, I stepped out of my car and started walking. That one simple action could have saved me from countless other future episodes like the one I’d just had.

I honestly can’t remember exactly what I thought or said during that walk.

But the simple act of moving my feet outside was enough to calm myself down, take a breather, and clear my head of the gunk that I had allowed to enter into it.

That walk also reminded me that the sun was out. It was springtime, so trees and plants were turning green again. And the birds and animals were busy doing what they do day in and day out.

All of these things would have gone on without me even if I had gotten injured or died that day. But if I had wound up in the hospital, I wouldn’t have been able to take in my surroundings.

I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate the abundance all around me because I was so preoccupied with the scarcity I saw within me.

I may not have thought I was going anywhere at that point in my life. But at the very least I could still get up and start walking.

And some days, that’s the only thing you can do.

Why it works

Sometimes you need to let your anxious thoughts kick you into gear. But it’s those still, small thoughts that will steer you in the right direction to act.

That first flood is riddled with all the emotions, distractions, and uncertainties you need to get out of your system.

The trickle that follows is the voice of reason that’s left over. It brings with it a sense of confidence and vision.

It shows you that that step you’re about to make is going to lead to another step. And then another and another until all of a sudden you’re 100 steps further along than you had been.

And you’re still breathing. Your life hasn’t imploded. And that big decision you were facing that you thought was life and death was actually just another decision in a long line of decisions that has led you to where you are right now.

So now what do you do with that information? How do you actually implement the next step you’ve been thinking about taking?

Well, that’s more like a series of stumbles than anything else.

Consider the consequences

So learn to be comfortable with stumbling. Because, not to be crass, but that’s just life.

Whatever decision you make is going to have consequences. They always do. It’s up to you to decipher how to navigate those consequences in a way that leads to your own unique picture of success.

• If you are applying for a new job, tell your hiring manager point-blank how your skills could improve the company as a whole.

  • Consequence: You will confidently walk out of the room knowing you have left the ball in the company’s court.

    
    

• Or maybe you’re starting an entrepreneurial venture. If so, tell your friends and family how your idea could help them overcome a problem they’re facing, and then ask them to share your work with their friends, too.

  • Consequence: The more people you tell about what you’re doing, the more opportunities you’ll have to make that first sale.

    
    

• Or perhaps you’re looking to take your relationship to the next step. Paint your partner a picture of how you envision that next step going and ask for their feedback and ideas.

  • Consequence: You will both understand and be aligned on your end goal and how the next step you take will get you where you want to go.

Now go apply it

This life is going to throw all kinds of curveballs at you, sometimes when you least expect them. The question you have to ask yourself is how you’re going to respond when the next one comes at you.

You can be proactive and set guidelines and strategies for how you will handle the big decisions you need to make.

Or you can continue waiting for the world to throw things at you and react in the moment.

A reactionary approach will lead to levels of high stress and anxiety. It will eventually end in you snapping or getting so burned out you can’t move.

A proactive approach will allow you to be confident in whatever decision you end up making. You’ll walk with a straighter back and a greater sense of peace as a result.

The first approach is more likely to close other opportunities for you in the future. The second will lead you down roads you didn’t even know existed, or that you thought you were capable of traveling.

Inevitably, the path you walk is going to split. So, in the immortal words of the great Yogi Berra: “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

You might just learn a thing or two when you do.